Part 2- The Details....

A while ago, my coworker (and friend) and I decided that we should apply to go to one of the Ortho Nursing Conferences. We were both approved to go to AAOS in New Orleans. After looking at some info, I figured out that it was only 2 1/2 hours from where JT was born and where his birth family lived. So I contacted his birth mom and asked if she wanted me to bring him so that she could see him and spend some time with him. She was excited at the prospect of being able to see him again so we started to work on the details... How would I get him there, who would watch him, how would this all work out.

Work was the easy part, take a couple of extra PTO days after the conference and plan to travel too and stay in Mobile for the weekend. Figuring out JT was a little more difficult, have someone travel down with him after the conference (Jared had basketball playoffs so that wasn't an option), bring him for the whole time and have someone watch him, or ??? So after some thinking and figuring things out, Jareds step mom Theresa was up for the challenge.

Amanda, Ty and I flew out on Tuesday and boy was it the experience. For those of you who haven't figured out... I don't fly... ever. I hate it. I hate the airports, I hate flying, I am deathly afraid of it, and traveling with an infant did not calm my anxiety any. We showed up at the airport to find out that our flight was canceled (increase anxiety), the lady was less than helpful and said all flights were booked and we couldnt fly out until the next day (increase anxiety). Then another lady came out, got us in a cab to another airport an hour away and we caught a flight there to make our connection in Chicago. Good thing Amanda travels a lot because she helped us through security and knew exactly what to do. Ji'Robert Ty was such a trooper! He was amazingly good on the flights! Although as soon as people saw us coming the nasty, "I hope that infant isn't sitting by me or going to cry the whole way" glares started!

Once arriving in New Orleans, we rented a car and headed to the hotel. We got all checked in, went to dinner, and made a quick run to Walmart. Grandma Theresa flew in that night.

In the morning was day one of the conference. It was a great conference, very educational and higher level than the previous ortho conference I was at a few years ago. Tyty stayed at the hotel with Grandma and got to go for numerous walks since the weather was so GORGEOUS! The conference was two full days jam packed with sessions and a lot of information.

In the evenings, we got to go out to eat and enjoy the New Orleans food and evenings! We walked all over Bourbon street and the French Quarter. This was seriously one of the neatest cities I have been too. Tons of cute little shops, hundreds of fun food places, and just a really fun atmosphere (obviously we weren't there during Mardi Gras!). The weather was perfect the whole time we were there but it was much more humid than I was ready for! We did get a chance to drive around a bit and it was an eye opening experience. Five years after Hurricane Katrina, the city is still in shambles. Many homes and buildings abandond, people still living in FEMA trailers, and many places you knew would never be rebuilt. It was really sad to see the lack of progress in some of the neighborhoods. The downtown area is pretty much back to normal but even there, there were random buildings that were vacant and not rebuilt.

After the conference was over, we drove to Mobile for the weekend. I was excited and nervous. Would his birthmom still want to see him, would it be too hard for her. I had always told her when we talked about the trip numerous times that if she wasn't ready, that she could say no at anytime but she always reassured me that she was ready. I talked to her on Friday and we had hoped to see eachother Saturday and Sunday. She had to work but only till 2 or 3 so we figured that Theresa, Amanda, Ty and I would do fun stuff in the mornings and hang out with her in the afternoons. Saturday came and she had issues with employees calling in and not showing up at work and I could hear the dissappointment in her voice when she told me she had to stay at work until late at night to cover since she was the manager. I was heartbroken for her but wondered if maybe she just wasn't ready yet. She said she wanted to make sure we could make it work the next day.

So Amanda, Ty and I ran to some stores and went shopping and to some hair stores while Theresa worked on some homework at the hotel.

Hair stores... HOLY COW!!! They had the most amazing hair stores! Packed rows full of African American hair products, wigs, hair pieces, and my favorite kid stuff! I wanted to buy tons of products to try with Addy but they were huge bottles that I would never be able to get home. So instead I stocked up, really stocked up on barrets and hair accessories. Everything was 1-2 dollars except the flexirods which were a little more. I was super excited and wished we had stores like that here. And there were tons of them. All over the town! SO COOL! We now have enough to last quite a while! And now I know, when in more diverse towns, seek out the hair store and stock up while you can. Otherwise you have to pay a ton online and pay for shipping!

Theresa flew back home Sunday morning but we were so blessed to have had her there for the week with us and to help with Ty while we went to classes. Amanda and I knew we had to make it to the beach at sometime to see the ocean. So we went Sunday morning for a few hours. It was gorgeous, a little windy so it wasn't bikini weather by any means but amazing to be on the beach in the middle of March. We wandered up the shoreline and collected some shells, took some pictures, hung out on the pier, and then headed back into town. The beach we went to had some little shops and restaruants but since it wasn't beach season they were all closed :( So we went back to Mobile and had lunch at Bimini Bobs (the most amazing restaurant ever, we went there last time we were in Mobile too).

We waited for JT's birthmom to call which made me more anxious and worried and excited all at the same time. She called around 230 and said she would be off in 30-60 minutes, we picked a spot to meet and she said she would call and let us know when she was heading there. Three hours later, I hadn't heard anything. I was devestated, sad, and scared. Had she changed her mind? She sounded so excited every time that I talked to her I couldn't imagine that she didn't want to see him. And then she called. She had a horrible time getting out at work, with more call ins and no shows. She was worried that it might be too cold to meet at the park. I reassured her that 72 was a massive heat wave for us and that we would be happy to still meet there. So Ji'Robert Tyler and I got in the car and left Amanda at the hotel to start packing!

We got to the park first. I was super excited to see her. She arrived and had the most amazing biggest smile on her face and while I held Ty, she gave me a hug first. I had the most amazing 1 1/2 hours of my life. She verbalized how much her work weekend was horrible and that if we ever came down again that she would make sure she wasn't working so she could spend more time with us. Her other kids had hoped to see him too but weren't able to make it. We talked about Ty, about life, and about the future. It was so evident how much she truely loves him and how glad she was to be able to have this time with him. She even brought him a little gift (two outfits and a super cute pair of shoes). She had wanted to get him something before we left last time but wasn't able to so was glad to get him something this time. She is truely one of the most amazing women that I have ever met. She made this heartfelt painful decision for her son, chose us to be his parents, and is very sure that her decision was what was best for him. She loves all of the things that we are doing with him, that we have a diverse playgroup, that Addy just adores her little brother, and that we are willing to continue contact with her. Although I do not know when we will see her again (I'm hoping to meet somewhere in a year or two), I know that she will always be in our lives. I know that Ji'Robert will be able to know her and will be able to have a relationship with her, and I know that she will always truely love him. It is the most amazing relationship and made the whole trip, the whole airport/flying issues, the whole stress of waiting for her call and wondering if she was ready, completely and utterly worth it. I would travel again in a heartbeat for him to have another hour with her. I have no other words for how I felt to watch her completely love him, cuddle with him, and snuggle him up but to be in pure amazement and be completely grateful for her decision and her committment to be a part of his life. As we parted, she teared up a bit but held it in and I did the same. We hugged and it was sad to leave not knowing when our next visit will be. But I know we will meet again in the future and will make every effort to help make it happen.

After my emotional evening, we went back and picked up Amanda to go to a late dinner. We talked about the evening, about the trip, about the conference, and about being sad to go back to the cold!

The next day we headed back to New Orleans to fly home, but we had one more stop to make... another hair store where I stocked up on more stuff! The flight home was pretty uneventful. Stares when we got on the plane with an infant, struggling through security, a three hour painful layover, and exhaustion!

Jared met us at the airport when we arrived which was great because we were both too tired to carry all of our stuff! We all headed back to our house where Amanda was reunited with her puppy Bianca! Addy was super excited to see me and held my hand the whole way home and kept saying she loved me and missed me and was teary the whole time too. Boy did I miss that girl! Addy got her presents that I had got her when we got home and was very excited about them! I have one more coming in the mail... The Princess and the Frog!

And so the trip was great! I have to say I am definetly not a flyer and will be driving for a long time instead!

Now that this post has turned into a novel, I leave you with this. Hold your memories close to your heart and write every amazing journey down. The details leave you fast but rereading them brings you back to that moment. I will be adding all of the details of seeing Tys birthmom to his lifebook so that he too knows how amazing she is.