The awe of Santa...

Last week before Thanksgiving we were walking through the mall and Santa was already there (a little early if you ask me!). We walked by and Addy asked, "Who's that? Whats her name?" (everyone is a her at the moment). So I told her it was Santa and we continued on our way. After shopping we walked back and Santa was out walking around near the Santa area. Addy wanted to say hi, so we walked over and she gave him a high-5. I asked her who it was and she said with great awe in a quiet whispery voice, "SANTA". We said good bye and kept going. On the way home she kept saying that she gave Santa a high-5 so I told her about Santa. That if she was good, that we would go see him, that she would sit on his lap and tell him what she wanted for Christmas. The next day we talked about Santa again. I told her the same thing again and asked her what she wanted to ask Santa for..... And I got a very serious (and seriously cute) response..."Elmo socks". The next day she told me how she was going to sit on Santas lap and she wanted Elmo socks and Addy Cadabby socks from Santa. And now she wants those plus Elmo Jammies.

So precious. If anyone asks her what she wants from Santa she will tell you! And so it goes that I am on a mission! Since she is asking for easy things, Santa will be delivering them! So far we got Elmos slippers (not on her list but I'm sure they will be well recieved) and Elmo/AbbyCadabby Jammies. I am still on the hunt for socks. Found some online so if I dont find any this week then I will just order them. So if you see them anywhere, let me know!

And so this week, we will be making a special trip to see Santa and tell him what we want for Christmas, and take pictures of course!

I am surprised that she (not even 2) is comprehending that she can ask for something she wants and get it and is remembering it over and over. Unlike when we are at the store and she sees something she wants but forgets once we leave.

This Christmas will be a memorable one. Addy will be excited and helpful and able to open her own gifts (and help Tyler open his). My dad is healthy and doing great after his surgery last winter. My family is all doing well. And we have our new little babe to join in the festivities.

Let the Christmas season begin!

Just fun...

We let the girls paint a wooden ornament...however we used non washable paint so they got to hang out in their "ok to ruin" onesies. Amazingly enough, their shirts stayed clean. Here was snacktime after craft time!

Thanksgiving Family Photo~

An impromtu facebook message led to a fun filled night of making gingerbread houses, playing, and going to a movie. Addy did a great job on her house and is very proud of it still!

Showing off their masterpieces!

Snuggle time before we left to go to the movie.... Thanks to Jared for watching both of them and Tyler! (and to Grant for watching Miles!) The moms then got to go to a good late night movie!

Snuggle time with TyTy.

Meena got Addy a little Christmas tree and today we thought it would be fun to get into the Christmas spirit and start decorating. Addy enjoyed decorating her tree mostly by herself. She even got to help with the big one!
Ji'Robert Tyler joined in the festivities as well....
This is my daughter.... And I love her anyway!

Thankful...

Happy Late Thanksgiving!

Instead of posting all of the wonderful things that I am grateful for, its pretty much summed up in one word...

Family

My family is my life, they are what keeps me going, they are what lifts me up when I am down, they are the ones who celebrate with me, and share in making memories that I keep close to my heart. Without them I would be nowhere. They give me purpose. They give me happiness and they give me hope. Their smiles warm my heart, their tears weigh it down. And I know that I am forever grateful to everyone whom I consider family. All of my wonderful friends have become part of my extended family, my kids birth families are part of our family, and our kids are the center of our family, the center of our world.

And for that I am grateful.

Let the bouncing commence... and other enjoyments...

Happy National Adoption Day! Can you believe that two years ago we were in the midst of our adoption process, were waiting in the waiting families book for domestic and was on the list for the Ethiopia program. We had no idea when our child would come to us or where he or she would be from. Just three short months from then we would be meeting Addys birthmom and bringing her and Addy into our lives forever. Last year at this time, we had a very busy 11 month old and were gearing up for our first holiday season as a family of three. Then in the spring we decided to start looking into a second adoption and brought Tyler home in July. This year we are greatful for adoption, for our family, and for our birthmoms. We are ready to bring in the new year in our new home, with our family of four, with love and happiness.

So now after not updating the blog in a week.....

After moving into our new house we found a really nice park less than a block away. Immediately after getting in the swing Addy said, "Camera, mommy take a picture". Note the camera was in the diaperbag and she didn't know it was with... does that mean I am taking too many pictures if she is asking for them everywhere we go!? And the run back up the hill to home.

Sophia stopped by to see our new house... Already being loved by the girls, and not so sure about it!

Addy LOVES her baby brother TyTy... even shared her most cherished Elmo and Cookie Monster with him. He obviously loves her and was very appreciative of the sharing!

Mallory got to hold Tyler too!

Ji'Robert Tylers first attempt at real food....after starting with rice cereal for a few days he really did not like it so now we are on to squash baby food which he seems to enjoy more. Still not eating much but catching on! Hopefully this will be the key to sleepful nights!

Go Hawks!

What a good helper!

We went to an adoption benefit and met up with our little friend Jaeden who we met through our agency after adopting Addy.

"Mommy I drive".... flash forward 14 years...

Finally got some watercolor paints (washable of course)!

She is quite the artist and very talented... must take after me!

Snuggle time!

Tummy time!

Make an on-line slide show at www.OneTrueMedia.com

After the bouncing...

Openness

Recently I have been asked a lot of questions about openness in adoption and the openness of our adoptions so I thought I would address some of these questions and give you my thoughts on the subject.

Openness is not something that is easy for people to understand, and it wasn't for us either.

What openness is not

• it is not a lifetime move where the birthparents live next door and share in the parenting
• it is not co-parenting
• it is not permanent baby sitting
• it does not mean the birthparents can take or see the kids whenever they want

But these are common things that people think about when they hear about open adoptions. They were fears of ours when we started the adoption process as well. We wanted to be the parents, we wanted to have them be our kids, we didn't want to feel the above feelings. And until you are involved in an open adoption, you cannot fully understand it but I will do my best to share our experience.

Openness is different in every adoption. Openness may be that you meet the birth parent before birth and have no contact after that, it may mean letters/pictures are sent, it may mean phone calls or emails, and in may include visits. Openness is agreed upon by the adoptive and birth family and is an ever changing process. Each birthmom copes differently with their decision to adopt and for some openness is too hard and for others openness gives them a sense a peace with their decision to make an adoption plan. Openness may be direct where the adoptive family and birth family shares all identifying information and contact information or it may be more indirect where both parties send things through an agency to forward on.

Openness is not for everyone and is not right for all adoptions. But even in a closed adoption or semi-open adoption, remember that this birthmom made an adoption plan for her child to do what was best for it. A decision out of love. It is not something they ever "get over" but is something that with time, they hopefully come to peace with.

It is my belief that openness is in the best interest of the child. That having some level of contact is good for the child to be able to know how much their birth parents love them and to be able to understand their adoption. To be able to ask questions and know about their birth family and history.

Coming to this conclusion took us some time. When we went to our pre-adoption classes and openness was something very scary for us. We had panels of adoptive families who were in open adoptions, met birthmoms who had placed their babies for adoption, and met grown adults who were adopted as infants and what having a closed adoption meant to them. After meeting the birthmoms who made adoption plans, my heart changed, my mind changed, and I knew that we would match with a birthmom for a reason. Something would connect, there would be something that drew her to picking us. And I was right. Both of our birthmoms are amazing and we completely connected from the moment we met. Both of them chose us for different reasons and we love them both.

So what do our open adoptions look like and how do they work? We have two very different open adoptions but each is special in its own way. With Addy, we met her birthmom in person twice before taking Addy home (she was already 8 weeks old). We send her letters at least twice a year but has been more like 5 times a year. I've talked to her a couple times on the phone. For her, the adoption is very hard on her and so we left it open as to if she ever wants to visit or wants more contact. For Tyler, we met him and his birthmom together the day after he was born. We spent quite a bit of time with her and her family while we were in Alabama. We have a very open adoption with letters and pictures at least 4 times a year and at holidays, we talk on the phone at least once a month, and we have plans to possibly visit them in the spring. We have full disclosure with both of our adoptions and know full names and contact information as do our birthmoms know all of our information.

Both adoptions are different but working well. My biggest challenge will be answering questions about their different levels of openness and hoping that Addy isn't sad that we have more contact with Tylers birthfamily. And reinforcing to her how much her birthmom loves her. And with all things, openness can change so throughout the years we may have more or less contact.

I, who previously was very afraid of open adoption, am now changed. I love open adoption and when we adopted Tyler we specifically asked for a very open adoption. Open adoption has changed our lives, its how our children came to be ours. These birthmoms chose us to raise these children and entrust their child into our hands, our hearts, and our lives. And we are forever grateful.

Better late than never... HALLOWEEN

Mr Ji'Robert Tylers Stats!

4 months....
17 pounds 14 ounces
24 inches long
happy, smiley, healthy, meeting appropriate milestones!

Tyler had his 4 month appointment yesterday and is doing well! He's a little on the chubby side so we are starting rice cereal to hopefully keep him full longer, increasing tummy time, and trying to spread meals out a little further apart.

We got his room finally cleaned out a little so it isn't packed full of boxes so we will be attempting to start to get him to start sleeping in his own bed in his own room!

Pictures of Halloween and the past week or two will be posted this weekend!

Moved

We made it through the move and are now slowly working on unpacking! I sent out an email with our new address but if I didnt get you on it, send me an email if you want it and I will get it to you! I'll post pictures of the house soon (along with halloween pics too).

Here is a video of last weeks dance class compliments of Shawna. I had Jared take Addy to dance so I could get packing and cleaning done. And he was a great daddy there!

Dancing Queens from Shawna O on Vimeo.

Addy and Sophia

Soph and Addy get their groove on from Shawna O on Vimeo.

A quick video from Addy visiting Sophias house! Halloween pictures will be posted in a few days!