Jared and I went up and met my parents and sister for dinner at Don Pablos to celebrate my dads birthday. It was a Sunday afternoon. After dinner, Jared and I went to a bookstore to wander around to kill sometime before our meeting. It was one of the coldest days of the year. We arrived at the agency who was nice enough to let us have our meeting on a weekend. Our new social worker was there but didn't have a key so we waited in the car. And then the arrived. We saw Addy's birthmom for the first time and instantly felt a connection. The meeting was amazing and emotional. I'll keep the details to ourselves as we want Addy to know her story and be able to share it with whomever she chooses. She asked us to parent and we were super excited and a little in shock. Addy was already 7 weeks old and we were going to get to bring her home a week later. ONE WEEK to prepare. Throughout our adoption process I bought nothing. No baby items, nothing. I didn't want stuff just sitting there reminding me of the baby I hoped for in case it didn't happen or if it took a long time.
On the way home we called our families. I called my mom and asked her what she was doing the next weekend because her granddaughter would need a new room. It took her a second and then she was on board too. We subsequently called our other family members and a couple friends.
I remember Jared looking at me and saying, maybe I shouldn't go to work tomorrow... Why I asked... Well how am I supposed to work now. Needless to say we both went to work the next day but were pretty non-functional. The week was to be a crazy one. Jared had a ton of basketball games and basketball practice so wouldn't be around much. Both of us had to wrap things up at work. I roped two different friends into taking me to different stores to buy some basics and register for baby stuff. I had a file of things I liked for a girl and things I liked for a boy so went online and ordered the girl stuff for her room.
That next weekend my parents and sister came and helped clean the house, paint her room, and get at least her room a little bit set up. Not everything was there yet but it was a nice start.
We then got to spend a little bit more time with her birthmom prior to going to meet her. We went and met Addy and brought her home. I rode in the backseat and stared at her the whole way!
Looking back I was a little more oblivious to all of the different aspects of adoption. Adoption is now much harder for me to process. How could the most amazing wonderful thing that has happened in my life be one of the hardest things our birthmoms have ever done. I am reminded everyday how amazing my kids are and how amazing their birthmoms are but their pain continues. Even with open adoption, not everything is perfect. The pain of not seeing your child everyday is alive and well. And many non-adoptive people think closed adoption is better, that the birthmom can move on, I strongly feel that open adoption keeps those ties alive, helps the child understand their story, and hopefully makes some sense of the whole situation and I pray that both of our birthmoms will be at peace with the adoptions. Both of my children have two moms, me the one parenting who loves them very much and their birthmom who loves them just as deeply and who will always be tied to them, to us.
I had always dreamed of a little girl. Deep in my heart I needed (needed needed needed) a little girl. And here was this amazing little person who's mom had chosen us to parent her. There is nothing more amazing than that.
1 comment:
Those 2 little gems are truly the light of our lives. And altho' their light burns so brightly it does not diminish the light of two other little gems that are grown now but still the pride and joy of my life. I am a truly blessed mom and Meena to 4 incredible people. I can't wait for all the next pages of our lives.
LOVEYOU MOMeena
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